Swine flu. Run for my life!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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