I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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