So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Say something about gay babies.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
