Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
