you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
