We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Enjoy the penises
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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