she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
