Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
