So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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