Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
