He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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