Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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