Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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