We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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