Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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