Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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