its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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