the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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