I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
