I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
