he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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