it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
