pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
are you so shy because you have an std?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
