The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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