I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
