Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize