i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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