I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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