Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
