the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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