why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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