I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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