I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
