I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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