Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize