I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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