so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
