Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
