I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
