worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
