I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
