Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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