Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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