Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize