sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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