i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
