Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
