We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
