Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
