She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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