opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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