wanna go halves on a baby?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
