I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
