did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
