I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
