Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
NoShamevember. You game?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
