he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
