Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?

(1-312): View more from Illinois

not while she was awake

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(925): View more from California

Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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(817): View more from Texas

i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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(847): View more from Illinois

Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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(575): View more from New Mexico

The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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(406): View more from Montana

Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

(1-406): View more from Montana

What the fuck?

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(573): View more from Missouri

They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself

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