You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
