I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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