he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
