I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize