i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
