I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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